The short answer, in most cases, is “probably”. But it depends on how you define ‘normal’.
Many parents (especially new ones) find themselves worrying about their child’s behaviour and if it’s supposed to be happening, asking themselves (and Google) a host of questions that don’t often get answered.
“Is it normal that their cry is at such a high pitch? Why are they vomiting so much? Why do they arch their back like that? Is it normal that they don’t want to eat?”
Normal is a relative term.
Before jumping to conclusions about a child’s behaviour, it’s important to understand what behaviours are normal, so that you can better identify when certain behaviours may require further assessment.
The link between child development and behaviour
Behaviours change as children develop and what may be considered ‘normal’ during one stage of development may not be in another. It’s helpful to break behaviours down into general age groups to understand what behaviours are typical for each developmental stage.
Common behaviours for babies (0–12 months) may include:
- Lots of crying (especially around 6–8 weeks — it’s a reflex at this stage)
- Fussing or arching their back, especially during feeds or tiredness
- Generally being unsettled, with no clear “reason”
- Inconsistent sleep patterns (short naps, frequent night waking)
- Breastfeeding or bottle-feeding difficulties (support is available)
- Communicating through movement (spitting food, flailing arms, cooing)
- Startling easily at sounds or sudden movement
- Wanting to be held constantly
- Waking as soon as they’re put down
- Fixating on lights, faces, or ceiling fans
- Frequent mouthing of hands, toys, or clothes
Common behaviours for toddlers (1–3 years) may include:
- Testing boundaries (e.g. doing something after being told “no”)
- Tantrums — often due to frustration, tiredness, or needing control
- Limited ability to regulate big feelings
- Strong attachment to routines or favourite objects
- Learning to speak and often mixing real words with babble
- Exploring independence (“Me do it!”) while still needing support
- Parallel play (playing near but not with other children)
- Starting imaginative play (talking to toys, pretending to be animals)
- Resistance to change (e.g. new foods, clothes, transitions)
- Saying “no” frequently — testing autonomy
- Starting toilet learning (this can happen anytime between 18 months–3.5 years)
- Clinginess, especially in unfamiliar settings
- Throwing food or toys as a cause-effect experiment
These years are full of rapid brain growth, with the emotional part of the brain developing faster than logic or language.
Common behaviours for young children (4–5 years) may include:
- Asking constant “why” questions
- Wanting to please adults and be seen as “good”
- Playing with language — jokes, made-up words, “rude” words
- Developing early friendships and caring what peers think
- Beginning to show empathy, but still learning to share
- Telling small lies or exaggerations — a sign of cognitive development
- Engaging in complex pretend play or roleplay
- Becoming bossy or rule-enforcing in group settings
- Learning to dress, brush teeth, and manage routines (with reminders)
- Struggling with disappointment (e.g. losing a game)
- Interrupting frequently — not rudeness, just underdeveloped impulse control
- Being terrified of imaginary things (monsters, shadows)
- Wanting to be “big” but still needing comfort and closeness
These behaviours are all part of the transition from toddlerhood to early childhood — where the desire for independence meets the need for security.
These are just a selection of common behaviours for these developmental stages. If your child’s behaviour feels different from others their age, don’t hesitate to see a GP for advice.
My GP says my child’s development is normal – now what?
So you’ve seen a GP and they told you that there’s nothing to worry about and your child’s behaviour is quite normal for their age. What do you do now?
Responding to undesirable (but normal) behaviours
Depending on your child’s age and developmental progress, there are several ways that you can respond to behaviour that has been determined typical but that is not ideal.
For instance, babies under 4 months act purely from reflexes; they don’t exhibit behaviours consciously or intentionally and cannot learn different behaviours. With babies this age, it’s about waiting out the temporary behaviour and just being calming, present and responsive.
Older babies (above 4 months) and toddlers behave in ways that are designed to get your attention. They are unresponsive to “no” and unable to understand logic or explanations at this stage, so employing the Rule of Energy is more effective. Dr Leon Levitt talks about this in depth in his book What Do I Do Now?; it is about putting energy into the things you want your child to do and making sure that the behaviours you seek are appropriate for their developmental stage. For tips on how to do so, read this blog.
Older children who have the capacity to understand explanations and cause/effect can benefit from positive approaches to consequences (i.e. an opportunity for learning). Explaining in simple, calm terms what you’d like them to do and why is appropriate for children around age 4-5, and praising their ability to follow instructions and pick up new skills is essential.
Assessing atypical behaviours
If you or your GP believe that your child may benefit from further support, there are options you can explore.
Atypical child behaviour and developmental delays: the next steps
Atypical child behaviour and developmental delays: the next steps
The aim of determining if child behaviour is typical or not is to find a response – not a cure. If your child’s behaviour falls outside of the typical range, options may include child psychology, occupational therapy, speech therapy or a variety of other specialists.
Your GP may refer you to a Paediatrician if they deem it necessary. The issue here is that you may be waiting quite a while without answers or support for your child’s developmental issues (just read this blog).
But it doesn’t have to be radio silence until you finally see a Paediatrician.
The GP Developmental Consultation
This Baby Steps consultation is designed to reduce parental stress and anxiety over their child’s possible developmental issues. In this appointment, you can ask your GP (specially trained in child development) any questions or concerns you may have, and they can offer medical guidance if needed and easily recognise which allied health practitioners may be beneficial to see, getting you quicker access to ease the wait.
Booking a Developmental Consultation is an opportunity to talk to your GP about the following issues:
- Delayed milestones
- Poor eye contact
- Language and communication delays
- Poor mobility and coordination
- Social/emotional challenges
- Behavioural issues
- Anxiety
- ADHD
- Autism
While your child may ultimately require a formal paediatric screening and assessment, this is a helpful resource in the interim to assist as many worried parents as possible.
Advice from Dr Leon Levitt
“There are a lot of behaviours that are perfectly normal for a child’s developmental stage that may not be desirable. As a parent, you first need to ask if the behaviour is typical for their age and development. If it is, then you have a healthy, beautiful child and there is nothing about them that needs ‘fixing’. In this case, it’s just about how you choose to respond to that behaviour, with patience, kindness and love.”
To summarise:
- Before jumping to conclusions and worrying, ask the question “is this age-appropriate behaviour?”
- A large majority of the time, the answer is “yes”, but a GP can advise if you are unsure
- Focus on responding to behaviour rather than fixing it
- ‘Normal’ is relative to stages of child development
- If behaviour is atypical, there are options going forward
So as difficult as it might be to take a step back and pause, it is essential in reducing parental anxiety that conclusions not be drawn prematurely. Your child is likely exhibiting typical behaviour, but if they’re not, help is within reach.
Reach out for help – book a Developmental Consultation.
