Simple Steps To Get Your Child To Do What You Want!

Mother holds daughter by the hand
DrLeon helps us to see how the way we use energy and attention is interpreted by our children, and how this simple understanding can help us direct our children to doing what we want.

Understanding Child Behaviour in 2 Principles

There are two main principles to understand when trying to get your children to do what you want them to.

  1. The things that you put energy into are the exact things that they will do. This means putting energy into the things that you want your child to do.  
  2. You’ve got to time what you want them to do with the stage of life that they are at. Make sure that the things you want them do are age appropriate, and work for them.

The NOs and YESs of Parenting

As parents, we tend to say “no” with more energy than we say “yes”. With this, children learn what we don’t want them to do, however, they lack the maturity and are unable to understand the difference between positive and negative energy… they just see energy. 

For example, to be a good parent you believe that you should feed your toddler three meals a day. However, young kids tend to graze and not eat full meals. So you end up sitting with your child, playing games, trying everything you can to encourage them to eat. This is putting in a lot of energy, at a time when they are sitting there and thinking to themselves ‘I’m not hungry’. You’ve timed it at a period of their life where you will encourage the not-eating-behaviour, because they know that this is an easy way to get lots of energy from you. This trains them to repeat the behaviour, and leaves you as parents, feeling frustrated and exhausted. 

Parenting For Life

This can also be applied for teenagers. If you put energy into praising them for the good things that they do, they will continue to do those things. In comparison, if you put in energy into them failing a test, they will think you see them as a failure and act in a way to perpetuate that. 

To get your child to do what you want them to do, you have to remember to apply energy into the right things at the right time.

Further reading

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